Tanline of Her Thong

Marge Monday: Pink Robe

Marge often wears her pink robe as she gets out of the shower. Sometimes she'll slip it off, wearing her nightie. Or if she lets it fall open, revealing her bare breasts, Homer knows she has "special snuggles" in mind for the evening's activities. 

Shower Toy

Marge Monday: Tropical Getaway

Marge and Homer need time away from the kids.  They heard about a clothing-optional resort for couples, and decided it was just what they needed. 

Orange Panties, Green Ring

An Ode To Hairy Female Armpits

One of the best articles to have been written on the subject, which seems to be getting more attention these days. Or, as the author points out, no wonder there is a "backlash" against the draconian shaving standards of today.

Here are a few excellent quotes:

"...whether armpit hair is lauded or loathed at any particular moment is just a matter of social mores, rather than anything deep-seated."

"...the hairless trend is a very recent phenomenon, a cultural construction that’s more about peer pressure than considered decision-making."

I believe the original article is here. But here is the article in full, for your reading pleasure:

AN ODE TO FEMALE ARMPITS

by Martin Robinson

I am not a pervert or a hippy or a serial killer, but I recently discovered that I find women’s armpit hair sexy.

Here’s what happened: over Christmas, my girlfriend and I took the opportunity to slob it up. Barely left the house, rarely changed clothes, drank anything displaying surface tension. One morning, my other half lifted up her arm, and said, with a filmy glint in her eye, “Check this out.” There it was: a smooth dark rug.

She did it to deliberately repulse me, just as I will sometimes show her the odd testicle while she is eating. Yet – hah! – it didn’t repulse. No sir. It may have been the way she was so cocky about it, but I dug it. “I dig it,” I said, unsure why I was slipping into beatnik speak, possibly because her armpit resembled Bob Dylan.

I felt compelled to touch her pit-fro, and tentatively did so. It didn’t bite me. It was velvety and not at all unpleasant. Disregarding what could have been seen as a feminist triumph, my girlfriend called me a pervert, and further access was denied. But the incident made me think.

Is armpit hair on women really so bad? I’d never truly encountered it before, and just assumed I’d be appalled. Having discovered it’s actually all right, you have to ask why it’s such a taboo. In 2012, a Swedish woman accidentally revealed a hairy armpit on live TV, and a screen-grab of it went viral on social media under the general theme ‘Laugh at the freak’. Why do we see it as so disgusting? Why have girls I’ve spoken to suggested they’d rather sport a swastika tattoo under their arms than a bush? Why has ShortList’s art editor been gagging as he’s been laying out this very feature? Why should we even care?

Well, from Armpits4August (‘Movember for chicks‘) to Cameron Diaz’s body hair-promoting book, the ultimate female taboo is cracking and hairy pits are coming your way…

HAIRY HISTORY

So what’s wrong with women’s axillary hair, to give it its medical term? Some religions reject body hair on both men and women altogether, but for Western secular types, the problem is less clear. Is it unhygienic? No, in fact it helps prevent bacteria breeding on the skin. OK, removal lessons the risk of pubic lice, but who’s still sleeping with 17th-century prostitutes anyway?

Is it simply so bloody ugly it’s just a basic human urge to hack the stuff off? Well, no, many areas in the world don’t mind it; South-east Asia, China, Latin countries, Grimsby…

Is it an accepted standard of beauty from the dawn of time? No, it’s gone in and out of favour throughout history. Total hairlessness was prevalent in Ancient Rome and the Renaissance and reflected in public art from those times, but that worked the other way too: female body hair was a private sight, a forbidden secret. And therefore pretty goddamn sexy. Michelangelo couldn’t put hair on the nudes in the Sistine Chapel as they tend to frown upon masturbating in church. When Goya broke the rules with his proudly pubic ‘Nude Maja’ in 1800, the Spanish Inquisition locked it away for being obscene (ie too friggin’ hot, señor).

OK, so is armpit hair off-putting in a primal way, given the fact that hairiness is more associated with men? Well, you’d think it would be in our primal instincts to be actively attracted to female armpit hair, since it signifies sexual maturity.

“Hair would suggest that our mating would be profitable,” says evolutionary science writer Professor Jesse Bering. “So why would something that signals sexual maturity actually be seen today as unattractive? Well, we do have an attraction to youth, so a combination of other sexual characteristics, like obviously developed breasts, coinciding with hairless armpits, might create the overall impression of youth, but relative youth that’s not indicative of reproductive immaturity entirely.”

OK, so a desire for youthfulness may overwhelm a desire towards armpits, but that doesn’t explain the deep modern repulsion for them. Bering says their biological role is just not significant enough anymore to withstand fashion. “Armpit hair would serve as a primitive odour trap which would help to perpetuate the wafting of pheromones. But the role of pheromones in human sexual behaviour is small, or at least unknown, so it’s maybe not enough of a biological force to have any cultural effect. Culture can prevail.”

There you have it. It’s an evolutionary leftover, so whether armpit hair is lauded or loathed at any particular moment is just a matter of social mores, rather than anything deep-seated.

Taboo-busting comedian Lenny Bruce put it perfectly during a bit on female armpit hair at his Carnegie Hall concert in 1961: “Why is it in bad taste? Is it from a theological point of view? Is it blasphemous? No. Is it hygiene? No, it doesn’t relate to hygiene at all, if it related to hygiene then you’d have to be consistent and shave the eyebrows, the head, the schmushka, the whole bit. So it does not relate to hygiene at all. What does it relate to? Style, that’s all. It only relates to fashion…”

Bruce was anticipating the late-Sixties hippies here, and indeed female armpit hair was perfectly acceptable into the Seventies. Mark Tungate, Paris-based author of Branded Beauty: How Marketing Changed The Way We Look, says, “I remember when I first came to Paris in 1979 as a schoolboy.

There were a lot of dark-haired French girls on the Metro in sleeveless dresses. Some of them had hairy armpits, which provoked pangs of pre-pubescent lust. It’s not difficult to work out why – it was like seeing pubic hair on public display. But this was the tail-end of the Seventies, when feminists displayed body hair as a protest against male oppression and the ‘norms’ of beauty.

“Actually women have been shaving for centuries,” continues Tungate. “For aesthetic and hygienic reasons. However, it will come as no surprise to learn that in the Western world, mass shaving of armpits by women was provoked by the beauty industry. Short-sleeved dresses became fashionable around 1915, which is when Gillette created its first razor for women – the Milady Décolleté – and ran a massive ad campaign to support it. The beauty industry has been encouraging hair removal ever since.” In this case, all it would take is for Kate Moss to weave daisies through her armpit hair at Glastonbury and within days every woman would have permed pits.



GROWING SUPPORT

A 2005 study of UK women showed 90 per cent removed hair from their underarms and legs, and 80 per cent from their pubic areas. A recent university study in Australia showed 76 per cent of young women undergraduates were shaving off everything. There are reports of young men growing up unaware that women are even capable of growing body hair.

It’s getting absurd, so no wonder a backlash is underway.

Armpits4August is a charity event drawing attention to polycystic ovary syndrome, a symptom of which is hirsutism. They say, “We believe the shame people feel about body hair is a consequence of a society [with] narrow beauty standards … there is no ‘normal’ pattern of body hair for men or women.”

Then there’s Cameron Diaz, who recently put her body hair in the public forum, declaring in her new Body Book that “pubes keep the goods private” and are “pretty draping”. Well, she’s Cameron Diaz, she could have Brian Blessed’s entire head down there and it’d still be sexy, but she makes valid points that the hairless trend is a very recent phenomenon, a cultural construction that’s more about peer pressure than considered decision-making. Naked vaginas are the Emperor’s New Clothes.

You can also blame porn. In that world, you shave off hair to reveal more to the camera, but porn is so all-pervasive today, its style has gone mainstream. A new generation are following its aesthetic standards. This also explains the return of the mullet. Some experts, like Professor Gordon Gallup from the University Of New York, have said this shaved ideal suggests latent paedophilia. That seems a stretch. I believe it’s just a fad being followed, and one we should question. Is it really that sexy? Doesn’t an overly-groomed woman seem a bit professional, a bit uptight. Surely sexiness is a lack of self-consciousness, about not giving a sh*t what anyone thinks?

A chemical-scrubbed and cut-back mound may look like an invitation to porn heaven, but the amount

of prep required hardly suggests wild abandon. The famously banned author Henry Miller – often unfairly branded a misogynist just because he slept with anything that blinked – wrote something that stuck in my mind: “I want a woman who sh*ts.”

Nice. But his point was he wanted honesty, not pampered people pretending the mucky realities of being a human being don’t exist. We may all soon be sporting Google Glass, but we’ll still have to nudge it to one side to pick our noses.

If we can see that hairlessness is mere fashion, not a deep-rooted taboo, then it can be changed. If you’ll agree with me that this porn ideal is a bit weird and, if it continues, sex will resemble two manatees wrestling, then it may be liberating to try something different.


PRAISE THE PITS

I’m not saying you should force your missus into growing some – it’s her choice, yeah – but if this backlash is happening, then men should support it. After all, how long before we’re shaving our armpits, too? Male hairlessness is no longer restricted to gay culture – everybody is hacking back now, and it’s only a matter of time before it all goes. And then we’ll be spending 20 per cent of our days shaving and the remaining 80 per cent itching.

No, let’s not run away from our animal sides. Encourage your partners, and let’s get some growth out there. I look forward to a time when a man and a woman can take off their clothes and not be nude. Free to fall into a hairy embrace and be stuck together forever in a Velcroish predicament.

That’s my vision. Who’s with me?

Certainly not my girlfriend:

“You can stop writing that piece, I’ve shaved them. It was disgusting.”

Cheers.

Shower Voyeur

Concentrating as she shaved her legs, she doesn't notice that sometimes I watch her. She's so sexy in the shower. A perfect moment captured.

Hit Record, I'm Ready

A super sexy shot that tells a story in its implications. A wife dressed in lingerie and heels, on her knees, ass up and exposed to the camera. The camera carefully set on a tripod, and plugged in (no need to worry about the battery dying). It's turned on, ready to capture what happens next...

More of this couple's work can be found here.

Marge Monday: The Mindy Situation

Some may recall the episode where Mr. Burns was forced to hire a female employee at the nuclear plant, Mindy Simmons.

Homer immediately develops a crush on his sexy new co-worker, which freaks him out. His pal Barney suggests Homer get to know Mindy, proving that their attraction is simply physical. However, this only makes things worse as Homer quickly discovers that they share many similarities, such as a fondness for beer, junk food and TV. 

Homer tries to avoid seeing Mindy at work, but they keep awkwardly bumping into each other. Homer tries calling a crisis hotline, but ends up confessing to Ned Flanders, who then proceeds to call Marge and tell her. 

Homer panics, falls over and, and is knocked unconscious. During this time, he is visited by his guardian angel, taking the form of Colonel Klink, who shows him how terrible his life would be if he left Marge and married Mindy. This plan backfires as it reveals that Homer and Mindy would be incredibly wealthy and very happily married, and Marge would be the President of the United States.

Eventually, Homer decides to tell Mindy that they should avoid each other from there on. Mr. Burns, seeing the conversation from a distance, mistakes their awkward conversation for one between close friends, and selects them to represent the nuclear power plant at the National Energy Convention in Capital City, staying at the Capital City Plaza Hotel. 

There time at the hotel is awkward. When sharing a foot-long chilli dog, they "accidentally" kissed like Lady and the Tramp. After a romantic dinner (the prize for winning the Convention), they return to Homer's hotel room, and sit on the bed. Homer is racked with guilt and has to finally tell Mindy that he is confused by the conflict of his attraction to her and his sense of faithfulness to Marge. 

Mindy assures Homer he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to, and it's up to him how far their relationship will go. After thinking about it, Homer decides to stay faithful to Marge. Mindy understands and accepts his decision, and she and Homer share a goodbye kiss before she leaves.

What the episode cuts out is a scene that happens before the trip to Capital City. Ned has told Marge that Homer called and confessed his attraction to a co-worker. Marge is upset, but decides she'll go to Homer, and confront him, and that, surely, some "special snuggles" will reconnect them. 

However, as she walks to the bedroom naked, she see's Homer in his robe, his back to the door. She hears a female voice, and then spots Mindy on her bed. Shocked, Marge can only watch as Mindy is telling Homer not to feel so awkward at work, that the feelings are mutual, and that she has been thinking of him with lust just as much as he has been thinking of her. To demonstrate her point, Mindy slides off the bed and kneeling in front of Homer, slips his cock into her mouth. 

When Marge see's this, she is furious. She knows this "hussy" is trying to steal her man. It wouldn't be the first time. She went crazy with jealousy when that woman Becky tried to seduce Homer. Marge recalls all too well how the men from the insane asylum shot her with tranquilizer darts, and put her in a straight jacket. She's not going to do that again, but will keep an eye on this Mindy, and she knows that despite temptations, Homer always comes back to her.

Homer, not always able to control his basic desires, and not always fast to think, just stands there as Mindy sucks him off. Still, he loves his wife and afterwards, tells Mindy she should leave before Marge catches them. 

That night he is racked with guilt, and decides he'll go to work and tell Mindy they can't continue their affair. He writes a speech on his hand so he'll know what he needs to say. But that's when Mr. Burns sees them, and decides to send them to Capitol City.

That is why the kiss in the Hotel has even more tension, and why the conversation on the bed feels even more permanent of a break up. Homer and Mindy haven't just flirted, they've actually had a physical sexual experience together.

And now, as Paul Harvey says, you know the rest of the story.

Hardcore Summer Reading

A lovely shot from a sexy blog, Parallel Slidings of Pleasure. 

The book she's reading, by the way, is considered one of the classic academic works on porn. The author, Professor Linda Williams, "moves beyond the impasse of the anti-porn/anti-censorship debate to analyze what hard-core film pornography is and does—as a genre with a history, as a specific cinematic form, and as part of contemporary discourse on sexuality."

Sounds to me like an afternoon well spent.

Diane Arbus

When this photo was taken, she was just 21. At the age of 18, she had married her sweetheart, Allan. She had been married for three years. World War II had been going on for three years, too. 

Her husband was a photographer, and was in the Signal Corps. Before that, he had taken photos for the department store owned by Diane's father. After the war, Allan and Diane would launch their photography business.

Diane worked as the Art Director and Allan as the photographer. They contributed to Glamour, Seventeen, Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, and other magazines even though they both "hated the fashion world."

After the war, Diane and Allan had two daughters, but then they sperated and eventually divorced. As a photographer, Diane would eventually become noted for black-and-white snapshots of dwarfs, giants, transgender people,nudists, circus performers or of "people whose normality seems ugly or surreal."

At age 48, having suffered from bouts of depression, Diane committed suicide. She is now considered one of the most significant photographers of her time.

But before all of that, she was 21. Nude, posing for her childhood sweetheart.

Photographer Diane Arbus by her husband, photographer Allan Arbus, 1944.

In The Shower With Toy

Push Me, Pull Me, Anyway You Want Me

The View From Here

The view from here is great.

Taking HIs Call

Tiny Bikini

Would you dare to wear this on the beach or by the pool?

Facesit Rodeo

Happy Meal Get Happier

Marge Monday: Dress on, Dress Off

Tada...

Wedding Bells

The wedding bells are still ringing. She wastes no time in starting her honeymoon, with groom, and best man.